1) Hey, it’s your birthday. Warning – this only works once a year unless you put on a phony mustache and use a bogus foreign accent.
2) I just lost my job. A hard sell in a tough economy, but believable. A good story is a must.
3) Slip into the crowd. If you see a group drinking, mosey up to the table and make conversation. If they are all on a tab, hit them for a few and then beat a hasty retreat.
4) Sex appeal. This mostly works for women. Even if you may not be a cover model, feigned interest goes a long way with the drunk and lonely. For men, you’d have be a super-model for this to work on women, but if you’re at a gay bar, see the point about the drunk and lonely. For both sexes, get out of there before you become another statistic.
5) Scavenge. Whose lonely beer is that there losing its carbonation? Well, yours, of course.
6) Work for a blog that promotes drinking. Hey, why the fuck do you think I write for this blog?