It’s Your Mastectoversary

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”-Frank Zappa So this morning my husband Julius came in the kitchen and gave me a big hug. I was wondering what was up and he said it’s your anniversary. I realized 5 years ago on this date I had my bilateral mastectomy, so it is my mastectoversary, is that a thing? …

It’s Your Cancerversary

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.”-Washington Irving It has been awhile since I have written anything on here. Sometimes I just don’t know what to write, sometimes I …

Tamoxifen: Go Ahead Bring The Pain

Tamoxifen headache! Today I opted to go out with no prosthetics so I would not irritate my lymphedema flare up in my chest and back. I’ve had a day, a day of such intense pain, caused by my newly discovered arthritis, caused by my three years of Tamoxifen and it made me think maybe I should just go ahead and …

Chronic Pain: Just Smile Through It

My breast cancer journey has literally ripped apart my body, leaving me with missing parts, and chronic pain. Last week my husband posted on his Facebook wall: “You see her always smiling in her photos. Because she will never let you know how much pain she really is in.” This is chronic pain. Every morning when my son Gideon and …

Nobody’s Perfect

    There is no such thing as perfect. You’re beautiful as you are. With all of your imperfections, you can do anything.” -Fish, from Courage the Cowardly Dog I was recently asked to pose for a pin-up calendar  featuring breast cancer survivors by my dear cyber friend and fellow breast cancer warrior Stori Nagel. When I first started planning …

An Open Letter To My Doctor

After many complications from my breast cancer surgeries from the past three years, I find myself left with no breasts and with chronic, sometimes debilitating pain that all stems back to one of the first surgeries I had.  I later discovered that this surgery which was done by the first doctor I saw, a general practitioner, was unnecessary and pretty …

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow…

I think every woman has gone through some sort of breast journey in their life, an evolution of their relationship with their breasts of sorts. Most of us never expect that the relationship will end fairly early in their life like mine did,. But actually, when I think about it I still have a relationship with my breasts even if …

Get Mad and Get Over It

I AM ANGRY … When I go to they gym and I lift my teeny tiny weights I feel humbled ; thinking to myself “ I took care of my body, I worked out,  I ate right so why did I have to get cancer ? Why did I have to loose my breasts? Why did my surgeries all have …

Art Washes The Dust Of Everyday Life

  When I was I decided to get a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction I knew the recovery would be painful but I was not prepared for just how painful it would be. I thought to myself, “I can handle it, I have a high threshold for pain and emotionally I’ll be fine. No big deal, I wanted new boobs anyway!” …

Scars Are Tattoos With Better Stories

  [quote-left] Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact that there is healing. —Linda Hogan [/quote-left] I have a lot of scars.  I have always looked at my scars as a scrapbook, capturing events in my life. The first scar I remember getting was when I was 12, I …